That bastard. I let myself remember making my decision, though. Taking the pills, then realizing that it was not going to be enough. If two are prescr...bed for sleep, four weren't going to, like, kill ... So I'd thought of the bridge. The hurried walk, standing there, getting ready to jump, and then...And then what?Was I even still alive? Unfortunately, I felt alive. In fact, I felt alive enough that I realized I needed to pee. I lay there a minute longer, putting off the inevitable. And then I. “I hope you remember me if they demote me and send me Visi-Cards once in a while.”Har-Hi pointed at the main screen. “Looks like we will find out soon enough, we got company.”There was an open ground skimmer floating across the grass and speeding towards us.I got up closed the clasps of my uniform jacket and said. “Everyone grab your gear and let’s meet them on the ground outside. Circuit shut her down and lock her up.”We stomped down the boarding ramp, carrying our gear bags. Circuit was last. Intimacy and shared lovemaking seemed not to exist for her anymore. Because of the lack of intimacy and lack of tenderness involved, it was frustrating, and demeaning for me. Even though I cannot remember a strong decrease in the frequency, our sex life seemed minimal. It was there, but without emotion.My college estimate of three months had been wrong by about two years and three months. I'll never know the exact date of when she first disregarded her marriage vow of fidelity. All I'll ever. But I can't. I can't be a girl. I can't be what I'mnot. I'm not a boy, I'm a girl. My mind keeps telling me that I'm reallya girl even if I don't want it to. I'm a freak. I'm not normal. I needto be normal, but normal isn't normal to others."He was weeping now. Jaimie asked when he first started to truly feellike a girl. He cried and explained to her, "Seven years ago. I told dadthat I want to be a girl and be his daughter. I didn't know that he wasOK with it, but I never told mom. I didn't act.
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